How Snape Died
by A fan of Many Stuffs
Summary: Severus Snape has decided to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Flordia, USA. Then he proceeds to get drunk. Inspired by Snapegirlkmf's 'Severus Snape and Some Drunken Harry Potter Fans'. Rated T for character death.


**A/N: **A horrible attempt at humor. I _really_ shouldn't write when I'm bitter and in a dark mood, otherwise you get fics like this and _Pull the Trigger ._Inspired by 'Severus Snape and Some Drunken Harry Potter Fans' by Snapegirlkmf. Set in Harry's sixth year.

**How Snape Died**

Once upon a time, in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter…

Severus Snape was drunk. Was very drunk. You wonder why? He was fed up. Dumbledore was dying, the Potter brat was making trouble, and the Dark Lord was Crucio'ing him every other time he saw him, for no reason at all. So he decided to Apparate to places unknown, get utterly and completely sloshed, and never leave. So he was drunk.

Along the way, he had met some Muggles who had promptly dragged him in a clothing store and made him wear Slytherin robes, took him to Ollivanders to get a 'wand', brought him to the dungeons of Hogwarts to get a cauldron, and then off to the Three broomsticks, where they all got too drunk to care. Currently, they were all shouting about something called 'Potter Puppet Pals', when he yelled above the rest, "What in MERLINS NAME is Potter Puppet Pals?"

They all looked at him is shock.

"Dude, you don't _know_ about Potter Puppet Pals?" one guy asked. He shook his head. There was a big squabble as they pushed him in front of a Muggle invention called a 'computer'. One of them quickly got online, went to YouTube, and typed something in the search bar. A video quickly came up, titled 'Potter Puppet Pals-The Mysterious Ticking Noise.' As the theme song came up, and a ridiculous puppet of him came up, complete with over-exaggerated hooked nose, he wondered if he was drunk enough to laugh. As he continued watching, a few chortles escaped. When the part where he and Potter were fighting, and were broken apart be a _naked_ Dumbledore, -how did they know, anyway, about that?-of all things, full blown laughter exploded, wracking his body. It only increased when Ron went 'It's a pipe bomb!' and the know it all cheered with the son of his sworn enemy. When it all went BOOM! he collapsed out of the chair. As he caught sight of 'Voldemort' singing, his laughter went maniacal.

Someone clicked on another video as he dragged himself up into the chair to watch the silly antics of a brown haired girl, an orange-haired boy, and a boy with empty glasses and black hair –what were their names again? He couldn't recall- he laughed louder as the one with glasses screamed 'VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE' at the man that look remarkably like him, and collapsed in the chair when he caught sight of a potato with marker on it playing 'Neville', and fell out of it when the thunder sounded at 'Harry Potter's' words. He listened to Dumbledore spew out the so-called 'Elder Swear' as he said,

"Your mother is a-Beep beep beep- ing- beep beep- lorabmizive- beeeeeep beep beep - admitomveniom –beep beeeeeeep beep-terrlagoola-beep beeeeeeeep beep beep- hippopotamus –beeeep-republican-beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep- ing –beep- Daniel Radcliffe-beep beep- with a bucket of-beeeeeep- in a castle far away where no one can hear you –beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-soup- beeeeep beep-with a bucket of-beeep- Mickey mouse –beep-and a stick of dynamite –beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep-magical –beeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeep -alakazam!, he laughed. In fact, as he heard the three kids saying it, he laughed so much that he could feel his vocal cords vibrating, he forgot to breath. So that's how Snape died, too drunk to remember his own name and laughing at The-Boy-Whose-Name-Has-Too-Many-Hyphens.

**The End**

**A/N:** As I said, disturbing. My mother thought so, at least. You would laugh if I told you the actual reason that this was written. (Here's a hint: I have the _most_ awesome teacher that lets me write fan fiction if we have a free-float English assignment. She's even on this site. Love ya, Mrs. C) And P.S., Potter Puppet Pals are real. You can go to You-Tube and find a WHOLE LOT. The episodes that I used are 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' and 'The Elder Swear', created by Neil Cicierega, and all credit goes to him for the creation and ownership of Potter Puppet Pals.

And an end note- Um, the Harry Potter story that I said I was outlining had been scrapped, because the plotline was _way_ too convoluted. And disturbing. I mean, Harry being Snape's son, but Voldemort thinking that he's his son, turning Lily into a teenage mom, and a bunch of other weird stuff was more than confusing. I basically lost my muse for it the same day that I started.

In other news, I have actually STARTED a fic that starts in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians universe, and then goes through a bunch of other fandom's, and hopefully other fan fictions if the authors will let me. I decided that this would be easier than me having a bunch of fics with all different OCs that all act the same. Anyway, I'm attempting to be somewhat original here. I WILL be adhering to my Authors Code (Refer to by Bio) on this fic, and will be posting one book at a time.

I have had this planned out for some while now, and starting in the PJO universe is essential. It will likely travel through the fandom's of Star Wars, Big Time Rush, Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, The Penguins of Madagascar, at least one book of The Immortals by Allison Noel, Twilight, and a bunch of others that I can't remember right now. Not to mention the fan fiction on this site. If it will go on to The Heroes of Olympus series remains to be seen, as that particular series is not finished yet, and therefore I can't foreshadow properly. And I do love my foreshadowing.

Uh, I should go now, and also get out of the habit of writing A/N's as long as the fics they're attached to. So bye!

-A fan of Many Stuffs


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